The pandemic brought to the surface all of our life stressors: work, family, school, childcare, home, financial saving, health care, etc. And while 2020 was a novelty in balancing, it is now 2022, and everyone is starting to feel the burn and exhaustion of continuing to keep it together. It is no surprise, then, that the entire workforce is experiencing The Great Resignation, leaving their employers in droves because of burnout, among other things.
It’s essential to focus on finding ways to maintain balance and ensure you do not fall into the rough patch of ultimate burnout. Here are some tips and resources to help keep you balanced and happy:
1. Speak Up and Ask for Help
It is absolutely OK to admit you need help and secure resources that will help you. You’re not alone in this experience of feeling overwhelmed with career, life, and success. Qalbaq, the Career Advisory Marketplace, is an incredible resource for professionals.
At Qalbaq, hundreds of everyday professionals from all backgrounds and industries are willing to help you with a whole host of professional services, from mentorship to interview preparation to just chatting about how they are balancing work/life pressures. It is so much better than cold-emailing professionals on other social media platforms hoping you can get a response back…eventually. Here, you can choose anyone to talk to, and all discussions are confidential, and you can even choose to stay completely anonymous during the meeting. And because it is a marketplace, you won’t feel beholden or guilty for taking up someone’s time to get help. You get mental therapy and professional support all in one!
2. Yes, a Time Out is Totally OK!
Here’s a little secret: we are not machines! We are human beings that need breaks; otherwise, we will break down. (Frankly, even machines also need to get unplugged/restarted every so often…!). So while you think you need to put on a show or brave face to keep plugging away, in reality, you’re breaking down internally. This includes mentally, physically, and spiritually.
So take control of your wellness, and speak up. Tell your employer, your client, or your spouse that you need a time out. It is OK. And if your employer is not willing to hear you out, then it may be time to reconsider whether that employer even cares about you for you, or only about your output. Once again, the Great Resignation mentioned above has been a workforce reckoning where millions of employees have felt underappreciated, overwhelmed, and unfairly treated because their employers could not understand that they are not machines.
(And if you need help navigating the school or career waters of how to talk to your bosses or teachers, check out the resources at Qalbaq.com to speak with those who can give you some pointers and tips – especially if they have worked at your company or industry before.)
It is much better to take a brief break than break down and have to quit your job or your relationship permanently.
3. Find Your Happy Place
We are constantly evolving in our personal and professional relationships. What we wanted to be in college or in our 20s has drastically changed and shifted, for the most part. That is because we are blessed with options in our professional careers. And with the advent of the internet, more and more jobs are available at our fingertips, and we have the luxury of being more creative.
Unfortunately, because of the day-to-day pressures of working non-stop/remotely and balancing other life pressures, we are not taking the time to really ask: “what is it I want to do now that will truly make me happy?”
As Confucius once said, “Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
As part of your taking a beat (so #2 above), consider what makes you happy. Speak with others who are in roles or jobs that you aspire to be in, and find what you love! From there, you will build your empire and find the right cadence and balance to fulfill you personally, professionally, and spiritually.
4. Comfy Workspace, Happy Workplace
With more of us working outside of the office, it is imperative that you set up a workstation or office that works for you. It makes such a difference to “want” to go to work, knowing it is a comfortable work setting. How many times have you been on a Zoom call for work or happy hour, and you see other people’s backgrounds/settings and thought, “Oh my gosh, that is a stressful and cluttered space to be in!” or “Wow, that looks so cozy! I want to be there right now!”
So consider what makes you happy and productive when setting up your environment. Take the time to decorate and set up your space that speaks to who you are and how it makes you feel. Pinterest can help inspire, so can other image websites like Instagram. It makes all the difference in the world!
5. You’re Not Alone: Build Your Network
Your journey to find balance is not a solo journey you need to take. Find like-minded professional individuals on LinkedIn or Qalbaq to help you blossom and give you helpful life and career tips. Build your network, and balance will fall into place as you learn the pros and cons of your journey ahead.
The road that you’re on has been traveled before, and there will be so many people who care share their wisdom with you. Think of it this way: Wouldn’t it be better to use something like crowdsourced Waze to get the best tips on where you’re headed (as opposed to going it alone with the good ole’ Thomas Guide and hope that your journey is not fraught with major obstacles)?
As most of us know, COVID-19 has changed the agenda for students, graduates, and basically everyone else too. With universities switching to online teaching forums and employers enforcing ‘working from home’ days, this has created an opportunity for those looking for internships, research, fellowships, community, and careers! Scroll through to learn how you can take advantage!
STEM Societies (ACS, SACNAS, etc.)
Depending on your major, there are different established societies that offer students, graduates, and alumni some great opportunities virtually (even before COVID)! Most offer discounted membership fees for students along with addition sources to help you achieve careers in your field of study. They also host several events virtually (very few have registration costs) including workshops and webinars. But what other opportunities are out there?
These societies collaborate with several fellow establishments to offer student and graduate positions. For example, ACS students members can start chapters, if one has not been established yet, at their university. Therefore, officer positions are readily available and have fantastic benefits as these societies provide grants for club performance. Most clubs are still meeting virtually and are in need of additional leadership!
Other positions can include fellowships, bridge to doctorate programs, research, you name it!
Clubhouse
An up-and-coming networking app that is taking storm (but unfortunately only available for iphone users). However, as a growing social platform, there are huge opportunities offered.
How the app works: This is a live conversation app, sessions are live with no video, basically an ongoing phone call you have on speaker or live podcast. There are different “stages” hosted by users or content creators. Those on stage have the ability to speak and can bring “audience” members on stage and they will be given the ability to share or ask a question. Different groups are established by topics and can have thousands of members! Groups can host rooms/events with different panelists.
Why Clubhouse? You get to talk one-on-one with creators, founders, influencers, moguls, etc. The app gives you the ability to share conversations as you would in a conference with the convenience to tune in or out when needed, without disrupting the room. It also gives members the ability to host talks about specific talks in your field or social activism.
How do I get remote opportunities? Not only can you collaborate and co-host events, but you can network with members or listen in on job listening or internship opportunities straight from the mouth of the founders! Clubhouse also made recent updates in which content creators can collect payments! Panelists, speakers, or personalities can now use the app as a platform for social media payment.
Slack
You can join Slack channels associated with any interest you may have! It’s a great way to navigate different conversations within a community. For instance, many of the Slack channels I’ve joined are STEM or business related. Both categories have separate spaces to discuss different topics like industry trends or, my favorite specifically for this post, ‘opportunities’.
Because they are in separate discussion channels, you can easily navigate the conversations you want to participate in, or read into opportunities like the one above! Those who share have the ability to add links directly to their programs or application pages for research, careers, an events. You can also pop in to ask about any opportunities or discussion with others. This is a great way to look into programs right from the source! So look into the clubs or organizations you are interested in, chances are they have a Slack channel that you are needing to get onto!
LinkedIn
Saved for last simply because it is one of the biggest domains for career navigation. You get to build a profile with you experience, education, and achievements and connect with potential employers. But are you using every part of it? Chances are, no. You aren’t.
Depending on your connections or organizations you follow, the home feed can have some great posts that navigate you to upcoming events or positions. LinkedIn Learning is one of the newer implements of the site, which gives you refreshers on topics you may know already or you can learn how to use a new program and gain certification from it! Not to mention it can be added to your profile to make you a better candidate.
But one of the most important aspects of LinkedIn is its extensive network of recruiters, business owners, and start-ups looking for employees. And unlike ResearchGate, you can actually search ‘remote’ work as a location!
Disclaimer, some postings can say ‘remote’ and then in the details explain you must relocate post COVID or for other terms. Just a reminder to always read though. This is such a great place to navigate different work, especially if you aren’t sure what you are interested in! Postings range from suggestions of your previous work and education (For example in my case: chemistry research, lab management, drug discovery) or skills/interests/club/volunteer work (retail researcher/mystery shopper, peer reviewer, skin care consultant). And yes, these were all 100% remote AND 100% paid listings.
It can be scary to approach work virtually as opposed to in person, but it is one of the few silver linings from this past year’s events and impact. I recommend these to everyone, but also for the full-time mothers who are homeschooling and need side cash, the students who moved out of state and don’t know the area well enough, those who are at risk of contracting COVID, people who are taking care of family and couldn’t keep up with the demand of work hours – there are opportunities for you. I hope you can use any of this information to help you achieve a position perhaps you couldn’t previously, or share it with others who are in need.
I wanted to share the Learning Story I presented earlier this month at the SALSA conference. This is the full piece I wrote with two entries and a third on the way.
May 19, 2020
“How do you feel about the coronavirus?!”, she asked. I stared in confusion. I was in mid sentence of explaining my research on molecular docking of nucleoside analogs as potential anticancer drugs. I had been invited to the State of the University to present my research to the Camarillo Chamber of Commerce at the Spanish Hills Country Club. I was one of four students from CSU Channel Islands to be invited. From the moment I pulled into the parking lot with my old van, I knew I didn’t belong. After setting up my poster and resting my nerves, I began to feel confident again, sharing my work with many business professionals. I was approached by a group of well dressed women in heels. They were kind, and expressed they knew very little in science, but were excited to hear my research. I was perhaps halfway finished with my speech when one woman interrupted me to ask, “How do you feel about the coronavirus?!”. This was my first interaction about the virus outside of school or social media (where it began as a joke, and wasn’t taken seriously). My research was strictly computational and had nothing to do with viruses, so I was taken aback by the question. I explained this to her. Shortly after, the women left, asking no actual questions about my research. Hours later, I sat down at a table with my fellow classmates. As I looked around the room, it became clear how few people of color were in the room. And I realized I was the only Chinese woman in the room.
It is believed that the virus began in China (depending on where you read or who you ask). After reaching the U.S., it began to spread uncontrollably. Resulting in a state-wide lockdown that has quarantined citizens, pushed all education to online learning, and forced non-essential businesses to close. As the COVID-19 cases rose so did ignorance. People began to blame in all directions, but ultimately it came down to the Asian community, not just the Chinese. I constantly see reports of violent acts or hurtful messages towards my people, and have occasionally experienced them myself. Walking in my neighborhood became stressful after I would receive glances and glares from strangers. Even in the workplace, though I work in a very diverse company, I had an awkward conversation with a white coworker. She looked at her freshly painted nails and said, “Man, I’m really glad I have a gel nail polish set”. I laughed and asked, “Why?”. She responded with, “The last place I’d want to be in this time is a nail salon”. I paused. Maybe she is referring to the social distancing aspect, because you must be really close to someone in order to get your nails painted. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt in hopes she had just phrased her sentence differently than she had intended it to sound. I ask, “Oh, why’s that?”. She looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Oh, because…youuu know”. There was no remorse in her tone.
In the third grade I brought a traditional Asian snack to school, specifically dried anchovies. Two girls had come up to me and asked if they could have some. I explained to them that they would probably not like them since it was a foreign taste. Unsatisfied with my answer, they demanded that I give them some. I gave each girl a few pieces. After putting the fish into their mouths, they immediately ran into the restroom and pretended to vomit in between their laughter. When we returned to class, the vice principal had asked to see me in the hallway. Beside her was the principal. They began to interrogate me about the snack I brought to school, claiming I had made two girls sick. They confiscated my fish and stared at the bag. They asked, “What are these?, to which I replied, “Anchovies”. A passing janitor was pulled aside by the principal. She asked him, “Do you know what these are?”. To which I said again, “Anchovies”. Ignoring me, he held the bag to the light and said, “Might be some sort of fish”. All three turned their attention back to me. The principal declared, “No more of these sort of snacks at school”, and sent me back to class.
It took me almost a decade to come to terms with my ethnic identity. After being shut down and shamed for what I ate or how I looked, I was embarrassed and tried to hide who I was. In my early adulthood, I watched Asian culture and food come into popularity. The food we ate that was once branded as “exotic” or “smelly” had become “trendy”. It was exciting because friends would ask for recommendations or opt to eat at different restaurants. I was proud! However, after COVID-19 made an appearance into my life, I watched it all return full circle. “Well it’s no wonder how this all happened! Stupid Asians eating bats and dogs”, a response from a man on a social media post. People began to back away from Asian restaurants and businesses in fear of getting the virus, and once again we were branded as disgusting. I may not know when this will all be over, but I know the way people view us will not. This is something I had to accept very early on into my life. No, it isn’t something we should settle with. But, yes, it’s something we know is there.
I was quick to learn that in serious situations, the worst in people comes out. For many people, things that are different are instantly viewed foreign, or wrong, or weird. People are scared and want something to blame. All my life, I was constantly shut down by people of authority, classmates, coworkers, and strangers for my ethnicity, not my actions. Since COVID-19, people have used it as an outlet to spread hateful and ignorant comments towards the Asian community to which I experience first-hand. It saddens me because I chose to work in medicinal chemistry to help others, and these same people make me feel unwanted and unimportant.
Something I’ve learned about dealing with criticism is to be the bigger person. I choose not to instigate the situation and make it worse than it needs to be. I’ve also learned to surround myself with people who support me rather than bring me down. I want to express that even though I do not reciprocate these sort of people it does not mean I don’t stand up for my community. I wear my ethnicity proudly on my sleeve and represent my family everytime I make a mark in this world. In one week, I will graduate with my B.S. in Chemistry. In a few months I will be applying for graduate school and conducting research. In my lifetime, I will make an impact in this world and it will be all because of a Chinese woman.
August 3, 2020
We are now approaching the seventh month of COVID restrictions in the United States. In these 3 short months, I have lived in 5 different homes. My last learning story was dated back in May, the week of my graduation as well as the end of my apartment lease. The three roommates I had were given no choice but to move back to Bakersfield, leaving me in Moorpark with no options. I was one of the few fortunate who was deemed an essential worker, since I work in a medical serving laboratory. I was contracted to my position and would not be able to find work back in my hometown. That said, I made the decision to continue living in Ventura County. On the last day of our lease, I slept on the floor of our empty apartment, and went to work that same morning. That evening, I turned in our keys and went to stay with a coworker in Oxnard for two weeks. During my stay, the Black Lives Matter movement had erupted. Protests and fireworks had taken place every other day. It became stressful as I began to worry for my friends and family of color. People often made claims that my hometown was not racist and the protests were not welcome. Business and homeowners stood outside their properties with guns and American flags as a peaceful protest was organized later that day. A week later, monuments and buildings were tagged with “White Lives Matter” slogans. I shared the following experience in hopes of my community accepting the ugly within our town:
“It took some time to process and gather the situation. This movement is not about me, but the following is. I hope it can give any of you who are not understanding, some insight on a different perspective.
I have been wanting to speak about this for two years now, and I regret not doing it sooner. My sisters and I were accused of vandalizing the car of a girl we went to high school with. Her father (and also my former teacher) called my stepfather and said they had video surveillance of my younger sister climbing out of a car and vandalizing his daughter’s. He said the car belonged to my sister’s friend and he began to describe it. It was not the correct color, model, or year of her friend’s car. My stepfather asked him if he could see her face on the footage. He stumbled and said not really. So my stepfather told him to stop calling unless he had real proof. It was not much longer before the wife called (another former teacher of mine). Instead, my mother answered. She was convinced my sister did it. My mother explained that she did not commit the crime. So she pushed the idea that my older sister did it (keep in mind she doesn’t drive and is years older than this girl). My mother said that couldn’t be right either. To which she changed her answer, saying that it could’ve been my van. Not only was she changing the car description, but going down the list of me and my sister’s. My mother asked, “Well, which girl was it?” To which she replied, “I don’t know! You all look alike.” There was silence. She angrily said “that’s not what I meant”. My mother said, “I hope you’re referring to the fact that they’re sisters…”. She made an attempt to say something, but was stopped by another voice on the phone-it was the daughter’s. She said, “mom just drop it” and they hung up. To this day, we never saw the surveillance footage nor did we receive an apology. Up until I left for college, I continued to work at our family’s restaurant. My family served each of you with respect despite what you did, and you still gave glares and passive attitude. It deeply angers me because I now see I was never your student, I was just some Asian to you. I looked up to you and played softball with your daughter who I thought was an amazing athlete.
This is not for any of you to take pity on me. In fact I was lucky, how? Had I been darker, my mother wouldn’t have been called, it would’ve been the police. The situation could have easily been their word over ours. But no, they called my mom and in that moment we were able to dispute the accusations. These victims (yes plural) were not given that option. Innocent friends of mine have been detained and arrested for crimes they did not commit. I worry for the black community and my friends of color. For my 3 Chinese sisters, my 3 Mexican brothers, and Jamaican brother (all of whom I have run from bullets with). It is important that we support in the way we want to be supported.
For those living in Taft who don’t hear about racial injustice happening in “our town”, know that it’s because it’s not happening in your house, your friend circle, or on your social media feed. It’s happening in an ugly, hidden way to save face. In fear of losing jobs, patronage, friendships, funding, scholarships, etc. Stop pretending it doesn’t happen. Instead, be open to discussion and learning. It is one of many steps you can take to do the right thing.”
A few days in, I was able to find an AirBnB for a couple weeks in June and July. Yet, there was a one week gap between my final stay at my coworker’s apartment and the AirBnB. My grandmother had had a stroke and became paralyzed on the entire left side of her body. Since I was not able to see her while away for work, I used the opportunity to take a week off in order to visit her back home. It was difficult to see her with the hospital restrictions, so I was only to see her for a day. When I returned to Oxnard, I checked into my AirBnB and proceeded to work 40+ hours a week. I was exhausted every night with only enough energy to make dinner before going to bed in preparation for work the next day.
Hearing the news that my work had extended my contract until August was bittersweet. I was grateful to continue working with them, but I now had to find another home. A friend had reached out to me with an offer from her neighbor; She was looking to rent out a room in her house. I jumped on the opportunity and made arrangements to stay. Learning the community became the biggest obstacle for me. Newbury Park is considered a wealthier and primarily white community. For the most part, I had no issues and most people were nice. However, it was when I began to engage in the community where I noticed people acting differently. I had gone on a walk around the neighborhood and would often pass others. Anywhere I had walked in the past it had been a social norm to say hello or to give a friendly nod to others passing by. When I attempted to do the same I was ignored and in some cases they would turn their heads or cross the street. Going grocery shopping has always been a nightmare for me, because I don’t like shopping for multiple hours. Shopping in Newbury Park had heightened my anxious tendencies. In an attempt to get produce, I was cut off by several people who crowded around the vegetables. I stood afar to practice social distancing and decided fighting for green onions was not worth it. I later found myself in the “ethnic aisle” looking at rice vinegar alone. Whenever someone would try to come down the aisle with their cart, they would look at me and turn away. I figured it was a coincidence, but it occurred three times and no one else was in the aisle. Why was it that they could crowd the produce, but couldn’t walk past me in a wide aisle?
I, like many Americans, am struggling. The constant uncertainty has been the largest stressor, all while trying to stay healthy and battling racial injustice. I am full of worry, but I carry optimism where I can.
The Power of Learning Stories: Student Reflection and Encounter with COVID-19
Today I presented my my learning story “COVID Coping”, I share my experiences as an Asian-American and as a scientist. I’ll be attaching a link to my excerpts soon!
I’m excited to share the results of the facial mask testing I have been conducting over the past month! To read more, click the button above! #covid19research
Asia Fee 