Dealing with FOMO

What does FOMO stand for? FOMO is the Fear of Missing Out.

With the surge of the internet, marketing, and social media, came a large wave of overly anxious thoughts and insecurities. Everyday we watch a battle between the next best thing to do or the most trendy content. But what happens offline?

I’m here to share how over 23 years of FOMO can effect your productivity and damage your self work.

I had been the middle child of my mother’s three daughters before becoming second youngest to six, and middle again to a seventh.

All of my older siblings were able to meet with friends outside of school, whereas I would be sent to an afterschool program until my mother was able to pick me up. Some nights my mom would work so late so I would have to be walked home. But something that still makes me sad to thing about, even as an adult, were all the times I got left behind to “sleep” while my family would go out for a late night dinner together. It was never fancier than Denny’s, but there’s just something about watching your siblings collectively eat out of to-go boxes for breakfast while I had to make my own.

I applied for a permit to work at my family’s restaurant as an official employee my freshman year. By my sophomore year, I was volunteering as a Colorguard coach and picked up a position as a janitor at my high school. In addition to my workload, I was involved in multiple clubs and extracurriculars activities. It was very difficult having a social life outside of my busy schedule. I’d often have friends come by my work asking when I get off. By the time I was off the clock it was everyone else’s curfew.

During my undergraduate career, I found a complete sense of freedom and was flooded with new opportunities. After working so hard with three jobs while being a high school student, I had several scholarships and savings that covered my dorm and tuition. With this, I didn’t need to have a job my first year in school (even though I picked up a short lab shift).

I went to every social event on campus, no matter how small, and joined several clubs. It started mostly so I could be more “involved”, but I began to stretch out my responsibilities further and further.

Since graduating, I had to leave the clubs and lifestyle I was so active in as a student. All of my efforts went into my internship, which became a full time position when I was promoted to a Lab Tech. Even though I was working 40 hours a week, I still felt as though I wasn’t “doing” anything.

This was also in the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic and quarantine. So I had very limited social opportunities. I had a huge shift in careers right before moving to Alaska. I was terrified of living in a new place without the financial security of a job. Moving during the winter didn’t make it any easier as I found myself stuck indoors again.

I started to take on multiple online/virtual positions to keep myself busy, but discovered how exhausting some of them became. Although, I continue to dedicate myself to some of them, I had to learn that rejecting work or opportunities was okay. Sometimes the workload was just not worth the effort and I wouldn’t be missing out.

As stupid as it may sound, FOMO can de debilitating:

• Worrying if you don’t take on the extra work, they’ll replace you with someone who will.
• Consumerism and spending habits caused by marketed sales to make you feel that you’ll never get an opportunity to get that product/service again.
• Being guilted by toxic friends/family for not joining.
• Overstretching yourself by joining clubs, electives, and volunteer positions because you want to stay involved.

It’s important to know that not every opportunity is one you have to take. Guilt and regret have a way of distorting your decisions and keep the anxious thoughts rolling. Sit down and ask yourself if its worth doing. If it isn’t, you aren’t missing out.